Some new Great Incentives!
Bus lanes
What a great incentive to let motorcycles use bus lanes. Fantastic. How about bicycles? Maybe a scheme for some cycle lanes would be a better idea you fat idiot.
Prices
Will they actually stop increasing the fares when it’s cheaper to take your car? £100for a monthly travel card zone 1-2 is shocking.
Here’s what it costs in the rest of the world (where they also have AC AND you can use your mobile phone to let people know you will be late because a snow flake fell in Alaska so the whole Northern Line is shut down)
Stockholm £60
Paris £50
Barcelona £65
Rome £60
New York £55
Feel ripped off? You should!
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Abuse? Who? Me?
Abuse? Who? Me?
Have you seen the new posters on the tube advocating that the TFL staff do not tolerate abuse? There are so many things that upset me with these ads I barely know where to start…
1. The actual AD
It’s a picture of a blazer with a silver TFL pin on it saying “not made for thick skin” or some shit like that. When have you ever seen a member of TFL wearing a blazer with a silver pin? If I were an employed by TFL I would be quite upset that they are not representing the people actually getting the abuse on the station but some overpaid prick who don’t even use the tube to get to work. Completely out of touch and irrelevant, great way to get a message across.
2. The message
TFL does not tolerate abuse. Neither do we my dear friend! When you transport people in conditions you are not even allowed to transport pigs in anger and frustration will follow. You combine this with utterly incompetent representatives from the company exposing you to this hell hole of a transport system IT’S ABUSE!
3. Conclusion
Perhaps TFL staff wouldn’t get abuse if they weren’t so shit! Perhaps everyone would be a bit happier if the system wasn’t so shit. Perhaps no one would through a tantrum if you were given some kind of information! STOP ABUSING US AND WE WILL STOP ABUSING YOU!!
Perhaps a better idea would be to have a picture of an ordinary incompetent illiterate TFL worker with a message saying “Don’t take it out on me - blame Tim and Boris!” with some contact details on where to make complaints.
Have you seen the new posters on the tube advocating that the TFL staff do not tolerate abuse? There are so many things that upset me with these ads I barely know where to start…
1. The actual AD
It’s a picture of a blazer with a silver TFL pin on it saying “not made for thick skin” or some shit like that. When have you ever seen a member of TFL wearing a blazer with a silver pin? If I were an employed by TFL I would be quite upset that they are not representing the people actually getting the abuse on the station but some overpaid prick who don’t even use the tube to get to work. Completely out of touch and irrelevant, great way to get a message across.
2. The message
TFL does not tolerate abuse. Neither do we my dear friend! When you transport people in conditions you are not even allowed to transport pigs in anger and frustration will follow. You combine this with utterly incompetent representatives from the company exposing you to this hell hole of a transport system IT’S ABUSE!
3. Conclusion
Perhaps TFL staff wouldn’t get abuse if they weren’t so shit! Perhaps everyone would be a bit happier if the system wasn’t so shit. Perhaps no one would through a tantrum if you were given some kind of information! STOP ABUSING US AND WE WILL STOP ABUSING YOU!!
Perhaps a better idea would be to have a picture of an ordinary incompetent illiterate TFL worker with a message saying “Don’t take it out on me - blame Tim and Boris!” with some contact details on where to make complaints.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Fuck Capital Connect
There must be some great mystery in the art of running a train service. There must be something we mortals do not understand when it comes to managing a train company. Because surely it cannot be that fucking difficult to get people from a to b. From where I stand freezing my ass off on the platform waiting for yet another fully packed train that has been delayed because someone sneezed so the previous service had to be cancelled, it doesn't seem that hard to get trains to run on time and with close enough gaps so that everyone who pays can use the service.
From some reason I find it hard to believe that it is that hard to get trains from a to b with people sitting in them. Example, the 8.15 train from my station today was cancelled (some one farted), sure there is a 8.18 train but that will then be full. Now there are two other trains (run by the same company) that pass the station but do not stop, some kind of express service for the Welwyn Garden City people, this seems to me like a golden opportunity to get people from a to b. Why not since there is already a disruption on the whole service, get these two trains to stop pick up the people waiting and get on with life. Problem solved the cancelled train will not affect anyone as another one is right behind.
Oh I forgot - no one gives a shit... It's no ones fault and no one can do anything about it. It's just the way it is. Yes it is awful that we are all transported in ways you are not allowed to transport cattle in this country but hey what do you expect?
Fucking lazy ass complacent people. It gets clearer and clearer everyday where the fucking gibbos get it from (see whygibraltar.blogspot.com).
Fucking third world country.
From some reason I find it hard to believe that it is that hard to get trains from a to b with people sitting in them. Example, the 8.15 train from my station today was cancelled (some one farted), sure there is a 8.18 train but that will then be full. Now there are two other trains (run by the same company) that pass the station but do not stop, some kind of express service for the Welwyn Garden City people, this seems to me like a golden opportunity to get people from a to b. Why not since there is already a disruption on the whole service, get these two trains to stop pick up the people waiting and get on with life. Problem solved the cancelled train will not affect anyone as another one is right behind.
Oh I forgot - no one gives a shit... It's no ones fault and no one can do anything about it. It's just the way it is. Yes it is awful that we are all transported in ways you are not allowed to transport cattle in this country but hey what do you expect?
Fucking lazy ass complacent people. It gets clearer and clearer everyday where the fucking gibbos get it from (see whygibraltar.blogspot.com).
Fucking third world country.
Thursday, 2 October 2008
Guilty gratitude
I’m fortunate enough to be able to take the overground to work everyday and do not have to squeeze myself onto the tube at 8.45. I have the pleasure of taking the pink and purple coloured trains belonging to First Capital Connect to work everyday. I am blessed I truly am.
First Capital Connect is a wonderful service charging you through the roof for travelling on their old run-down trains, with a habit of non functional breaks. But First Capital Connect has got wonderful and dedicated staff. Apparently.
For some reason they are unable to sell advertising space on their trains and have to fill the trains with their own posters. With pictures of their super dedicated hard working always smiling staff. These posters are vile. Not just because of the ugliness I discussed in a previous post but because of what they are saying. They say things like
“I get up at 4.30 so you can get to work”,
“I wish my house was cleaned this often”
“I smile at 5000 people everyday”
What are they aiming at? I am supposed to feel some kind of gratefulness towards First Capital Connects staff for doing their job which I’m paying for? Huh? F*ck off. It’s a shit service and you know it, now shut up and do your job.
First Capital Connect is a wonderful service charging you through the roof for travelling on their old run-down trains, with a habit of non functional breaks. But First Capital Connect has got wonderful and dedicated staff. Apparently.
For some reason they are unable to sell advertising space on their trains and have to fill the trains with their own posters. With pictures of their super dedicated hard working always smiling staff. These posters are vile. Not just because of the ugliness I discussed in a previous post but because of what they are saying. They say things like
“I get up at 4.30 so you can get to work”,
“I wish my house was cleaned this often”
“I smile at 5000 people everyday”
What are they aiming at? I am supposed to feel some kind of gratefulness towards First Capital Connects staff for doing their job which I’m paying for? Huh? F*ck off. It’s a shit service and you know it, now shut up and do your job.
Tuesday, 30 September 2008
AIR CON!!!
Just read on a short notice in a Swedish newspaper about the Tube and new aircon trains being introduced on the Met line in two years time. Picture of Boris looking exceptionally happy on a train, caption – London is the coolest city in the world and now we will have the coolest trains in the world.
Now I know the “Transforming the Tube” programme is well underway. I have had to find a lot of alternative routes to complete my journey. And it f*cks me off everytime I think about it.
THE MET LINE FIRST LINE WITH AIR CON!? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!
Have anyone working for TFL ever been on the Met line? The trains on the Met line are the biggest, airiest trains on the whole Tube network. THEY HAVE WINDOWS THAT OPEN! Not to mention that most of the line is run outdoors! WHAT were they thinking? I know the trains are old but the line sure as hell is not as hot as the Central or Piccadilly line.
When the initial anger had settled I started trawling through tfl.gov.uk (it’s in my favourites) trying to find some info on this thinking that there might some press release or something. Nope. Nada. But I eventually find the “Transforming the Tube” brochure – a fascinating read!
“The rebuild of the flagship station at Wembley Park has meant that we have been able to consistently meet the demands of the new stadium since it reopened in the summer last year” – Not sure if the Madonna concert goers would agree it met demand as I hear it took about 2 hours to even get on the platform…
“Bank – a series of schemes over the next 13 years will increase capacity as this complex station” – Thank God people are being sacked in the city as it doesn’t seem to be getting any better on the platforms anytime soon!
And it goes on an on… “King’s Cross Station now has 100% more ticket hall capacity.” Great! I would prefer it if I could get on the platform, even better if I could get on a train!!
The sheer stupidity of the programme I think really gets to the heart of the problem with TFL. Nothing is thought through or planned properly and no one, no one takes responsibility for anything. There is absolutely no accountability from the top down to the idiots standing in the ticket halls. As with most state run companies with no competition the top guys pay check is secure without actually having to do a good job. Have you ever met a nice, friendly, accommodating member of staff on the tube? No? Me neither. Good thing we will all be able to cool down from the frustration on the new air con trains in 2012….
Now I know the “Transforming the Tube” programme is well underway. I have had to find a lot of alternative routes to complete my journey. And it f*cks me off everytime I think about it.
THE MET LINE FIRST LINE WITH AIR CON!? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!
Have anyone working for TFL ever been on the Met line? The trains on the Met line are the biggest, airiest trains on the whole Tube network. THEY HAVE WINDOWS THAT OPEN! Not to mention that most of the line is run outdoors! WHAT were they thinking? I know the trains are old but the line sure as hell is not as hot as the Central or Piccadilly line.
When the initial anger had settled I started trawling through tfl.gov.uk (it’s in my favourites) trying to find some info on this thinking that there might some press release or something. Nope. Nada. But I eventually find the “Transforming the Tube” brochure – a fascinating read!
“The rebuild of the flagship station at Wembley Park has meant that we have been able to consistently meet the demands of the new stadium since it reopened in the summer last year” – Not sure if the Madonna concert goers would agree it met demand as I hear it took about 2 hours to even get on the platform…
“Bank – a series of schemes over the next 13 years will increase capacity as this complex station” – Thank God people are being sacked in the city as it doesn’t seem to be getting any better on the platforms anytime soon!
And it goes on an on… “King’s Cross Station now has 100% more ticket hall capacity.” Great! I would prefer it if I could get on the platform, even better if I could get on a train!!
The sheer stupidity of the programme I think really gets to the heart of the problem with TFL. Nothing is thought through or planned properly and no one, no one takes responsibility for anything. There is absolutely no accountability from the top down to the idiots standing in the ticket halls. As with most state run companies with no competition the top guys pay check is secure without actually having to do a good job. Have you ever met a nice, friendly, accommodating member of staff on the tube? No? Me neither. Good thing we will all be able to cool down from the frustration on the new air con trains in 2012….
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Big Brother is watching you!
Do you sometimes get the feeling TFL is herding you? I sometimes feel like I'm in some sort of science fiction novel when walking around in the long winding tunnels of the underground with hundreds of people walking in complete silence purposefully with constant announcements on the PA with what we can and cannot do - walk here, don't go there, avoid this and not allowed to do that. I feel like something out of the Hand Maid's Tale!
Another thing that amazes me is how peaceful stations can be sometimes. Have you ever noticed how quiet it can be on the platforms? Almost surreal complete silence although there are hundreds of people crammed into a really small place...
Another thing that amazes me is how peaceful stations can be sometimes. Have you ever noticed how quiet it can be on the platforms? Almost surreal complete silence although there are hundreds of people crammed into a really small place...
Tube Manners
It angers me every time I do it, yet I cannot seem to stop myself. Everyday I have to remind myself before I set foot on the train - DON'T DO IT! I know it will ruin my day, that I will loose the will to live, yet I cannot seem to stop myself. And it never fails, as soon as I look up from minding the gap I know the damage will be done. I see people.
There are two reasons why looking at people on the tube upsets me so much each and every time. Firstly, it's the ugly ones. It is widely known that the British population is not the most attractive in the world, which is why I feel comfortable as a non Brit to admit that the sheer ugliness on the train to work depresses me. It sometime makes me sick, but mostly it makes me want to turn back home and never leave the house again, it depresses me. The one time I saw a remotely handsome male on the train to work I got so excited I started following him when he got off..
The second is manners. I seem to be one of very very few people who do not treat public transport as my own personal transportation and as such I try to show respect and consideration when squeezed in between someone's armpit and ingrown beard bumps. I am of the perception that one should behave in an appropriate manner when confined in a small space with hundreds of strangers:
1) Move DOWN! I do not understand people who so completely lack any awareness of space and their own position in it they cannot even understand that the more we utilize the space given the more people can get on. I suggest we instead of shouting a general “can you move down please” start shouting “ey you move! Yes you in the brown jacket and curly hair, move down!” Make it personal!
2) Holding onto rails and poles with BOTH arms. The tube doesn’t not thrust you around enough for the need of holding on like you’re sailing around the Good Hope Cape. You are however invading my space and most likely spreading a double whammy of that funny smell coming from your armpits when you don’t use deodorant.
3) Not letting go of rails and poles when the train is in the station. People are trying to get off muppet, let go!
4) If you are a tourist - talking. Take note – we do not speak to strangers on the tube, we read and shut up I suggest you do the same.
5) Insisting on pushing onto the train when there obviously is no more space. This is not Paris.
6) Using iPod headphones. They should be banned. I understand that Apple after producing the most popular mp3 player in the world had no money left to produce quality headphone to go with it, and thus causing people all over the world to listen to other people’s crap music at inconvenient times. Turn it down – I don’t want to listen to Oasis especially not at ten to seven in the morning!
There are two reasons why looking at people on the tube upsets me so much each and every time. Firstly, it's the ugly ones. It is widely known that the British population is not the most attractive in the world, which is why I feel comfortable as a non Brit to admit that the sheer ugliness on the train to work depresses me. It sometime makes me sick, but mostly it makes me want to turn back home and never leave the house again, it depresses me. The one time I saw a remotely handsome male on the train to work I got so excited I started following him when he got off..
The second is manners. I seem to be one of very very few people who do not treat public transport as my own personal transportation and as such I try to show respect and consideration when squeezed in between someone's armpit and ingrown beard bumps. I am of the perception that one should behave in an appropriate manner when confined in a small space with hundreds of strangers:
1) Move DOWN! I do not understand people who so completely lack any awareness of space and their own position in it they cannot even understand that the more we utilize the space given the more people can get on. I suggest we instead of shouting a general “can you move down please” start shouting “ey you move! Yes you in the brown jacket and curly hair, move down!” Make it personal!
2) Holding onto rails and poles with BOTH arms. The tube doesn’t not thrust you around enough for the need of holding on like you’re sailing around the Good Hope Cape. You are however invading my space and most likely spreading a double whammy of that funny smell coming from your armpits when you don’t use deodorant.
3) Not letting go of rails and poles when the train is in the station. People are trying to get off muppet, let go!
4) If you are a tourist - talking. Take note – we do not speak to strangers on the tube, we read and shut up I suggest you do the same.
5) Insisting on pushing onto the train when there obviously is no more space. This is not Paris.
6) Using iPod headphones. They should be banned. I understand that Apple after producing the most popular mp3 player in the world had no money left to produce quality headphone to go with it, and thus causing people all over the world to listen to other people’s crap music at inconvenient times. Turn it down – I don’t want to listen to Oasis especially not at ten to seven in the morning!
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