TFL idiots…

I’m starting to think that TFL staff must be Gibbos (see whygibraltar.blogspot.com for details), there is just no other way of explaining the sheer stupidity of the employees.

First there was the closing of Bank station at 5.30 pm on a weekday a few weeks ago, because the trains made too much noise and they needed to grease up the tracks.

My initial question is of course who complained? Staff or passengers? Surely it could not been a passenger, they would simply have gotten ON a train and left the noisy platform before being able to make a complaint. Sure, someone could have heard the noise, decided this was just not acceptable and decided to go and find someone in a TFL jacket who did actually respond to verbal communication, made a complaint and made sure something was done about it. Considering it was 5.30pm on a weekday any passenger would most probably been on their way home after a depressing day at work and so it is highly unlikely that they would have gone through all this trouble when they simply could have just gotten on the train to avoid the noise. I am ruling passengers out.

Staff then. I am all for health and safety, no one should have to work in a potentially damaging environment. Luckily however there is a solution! Most people who find themselves in jobs which include high levels of decibel usually wear earplugs. These little pieces of squiggly material have been found to have an astonishing ability to block out noise.

One would have thought that since these high levels of noise would only cause damage to people who had to frequent the un-greased platforms for longer periods of time, which hopefully would exclude paying customers, shutting down the station for the benefit of the ONE TFL employee shouting “your next eastbound central line train is due in approximately 1 minute” (for the benefit of the blind people who so often use the underground as a mean of transportation) is somewhat of an overreaction considering the disruption this caused several thousands.

But oh no. Because leaving the platform unattended and only monitored by the 15 cctv cameras available simply would not be safe. Giving this poor employee some earplugs from the Boots store JUST OUTSIDE THE STATION for £1.50 would simply not do either. Oh no. We are closing down the station. Oh yes. Because that is the only option that makes sense.

Secondly it’s this brilliant rent-a-bike scheme which is costing me and you 57 million pounds. Rent-a-bike scheme are great, I grew up in a city with them and they are very handy. I’ve used them in Paris where it is your only way of getting anywhere after midnight. However there are a few flaws with the scheme as presented by TFL.

Firstly, they will not have locks. My initial thought was ok, I get it, TFL would have to spend loads of time and money unlocking loads of bikes after people loose the devise to open them or they forget them etc. It makes some kind of sense I suppose. But then the TFL managing director of surface transport, David Brown, opens his illogical gob and makes the following statement:
“We do not want to see a situation where we have bikes chained up to railings across Central London. They just look unsightly.”

Hmm ok.

Secondly, they will not be available outside of tube stations.
“To avoid queues forming to hire bikes, TfL has decided not to build any docking stations close to rail terminuses. It argues that the bikes would be too popular among rail commuters and that racks would almost always be empty, damaging the image of the scheme.”

As one commentator on timesonline.co.uk put it:
“So because they would be most useful outside rail stations, TFL aren't going to put them there, as more people would use them and the empty racks would spoil their image? Some people at TFL need some "special help", right now. Protecting them from being stolen is an eyesore?”

Thirdly, introducing 6,000 bikes for tourists and commuters in a city with absolutely no infrastructure suited for just bicycles could prove to be disastrous. THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE BICYCLE LANE IN THIS WHOLE CITY!!!!!

Conclusion: TFL must either be full of Gibbos or they are just plain fucking stupid.